


In A Single Bound

by Smapdi



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: AU, F/M, Smut, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smapdi/pseuds/Smapdi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This AU is set sometime in the early 2000's. Mindy throws Gwen a bachelorette party and they have some exciting entertainment. Any similarities to any persons, real, dead, or on Tumblr, are completely coincidental. Written prior to the S3 premiere but after spoilers came out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grelca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grelca/gifts).



> Thanks to alittlenutjob for inspiring the superhero stripper idea - some of Danny's explanatory dialogue comes from her too. Muah!

"I can't believe you did this. Why am I even friends with you?" Gwen hisses, her face furiously red, contrasting with her sunny blond curls. 

Mindy shoves her friend's hand from its grip on her upper arm. "I'm the best friend you'll ever have! I'm letting you marry that ancient pedo, aren't I? But I don't have to be happy about it!"

"Don't call him that! He's in his 30's!" Gwen pushes her hair out of her face and wipes at an eye. "I love him. Why do you have to be such a giant bitch about it?"

"This was supposed to be our apartment, Gwen! We were going to take over Manhattan like a couple of socialites, and meet rich and interesting men and have crazy wild sex in limos! And you're abandoning me."

"Carl is rich." Gwen sniffles. "And I'm not abandoning you. We'll always be friends, Mindy. But you're going to medical school, and you're making your future your own. I'm not mad at you for that...and you shouldn't be mad at me for falling in love and making my future happen a little sooner than you."

Mindy pouts and sighs. "I know. I'm horrible, Gwennie. I'm so sorry." She reaches to embrace the taller woman, who enthusiastically hugs her back and they bounce up and down for a moment. "And I'm sorry about all the penises."

Gwen laughs and shakes her head. "It's okay. I was just caught off guard, and Nana... Well, Nana seems to be enjoying herself!"

Mindy's cozy apartment is elaborately decorated for the "bridal shower" that is really a secret bachelorette party - secret only to Gwen. Mindy has gone all out - instead of the decor being classic white doves and flowers, it's pretty much just penises. Cut out cartoon dicks of all shapes and sizes hang from big loops of streamers. There are brightly colored dildos blooming from a vase, candy cocks in bowls around the room, pecker pasta salad and cocktail weenies to snack on. Even the ice cubes are cold little organs with blue balls. 

Gwen had been justifiably horrified when she walked in with her mother, grandmother and future mother-in-law in tow. Gwen's grandma is nearly blind, so she found it easier to just not bother explaining the theme of the night. But Gwen really wasn't prepare for the relentless onslaught of erections, and she has been lingering by the punch bowl, throwing back glasses like it wasn't 75% alcohol and glaring at Mindy. She was most worried about Nana, who she barely knew, but surprisingly, the upper crust older woman had been rather amused and is now happily playing the pin the junk on the hunk game.

"Let's just serve the cake and open the presents and we can call it a night." Gwen sighs, poking her finger into the creamy icing of the very detailed penis cake as she sits at the table with a huff. 

Mindy bites her lip and takes a seat beside her. "Okay, sure," she says weakly, not wanting to reveal the last surprise of the night. "Really, I'm sorry. It was kind of a mean trick, not telling you, and I wasn't really trying to break you guys up. Carl is okay, I guess."

"Well, it's not like I'm going to listen to you, anyway. You're a virgin who can't drive."

"Way harsh, Gwen!" The two collapse in giggles. "And it's not true anymore."

Gwen makes a faux shocked expression. "You got your license?"

"Shut up!" Mindy throws a candy dick at her friend, who just misses catching it in her mouth. 

"Look, as far as I'm concerned, when the guy is hung like this," Gwen leans over and picks up the candy. "It shouldn't count."

"Gwen!" Mindy shrieks, as Gwen mimes inappropriate things with the tiny little woody. "It does so count! And he did the best the could, considering."

The booze in the punch has hit Gwen hard, and she's loud, even over the blaring music. "He was smaller than a tampon! He didn't even pop your cherry!"

"Shhhh!" Mindy throws a hand over Gwen's mouth as she brays with laughter. "It did so pop! It's popped! Shut up!" 

Wrestling away, Gwen grabs a bright purple dildo from the bouquet and waves it in Mindy's face like she's trying to start a duel. "Maybe you need this, Mindy! So you can see what it's like being with a stallion!" She turns it around and inspects it. "No, I'm keeping this one, it looks like Carl. See how it goes a little to the right?"

"Eeew, Gwen, TMI. Please do keep it, I do NOT need it. I'll find my own, eventually."

Gwen snaps out of her haze and pierces Mindy with a shrewd look. "You need to find a BIG one. Not, like, this big," she grabs a peach colored monster that is the length of Mindy's forearm. "So, no black guys."

"Gwen, have I mentioned to you that casual racism is still racism?" Mindy clucks. Though she's drunk as much as the blonde, she holds it better, so she's just a bit buzzed. 

"Fine, go bang a black guy, I don't care." She hiccups and bangs a hand on the table. "Italian."

Mindy looks at her quizzically. "Dressing? Vacation? What?"

Gwen glares back. "Italian guy, you need an Italian guy. They have horse cocks!" 

"Shhhh, your future mother-in-law just heard that. Settle down and stop telling me I need to get laid." 

"But, Mindy," Gwen leans down and whispers-yells, sounding out each word slowly. "You do. Need. To get. Laid. You can't go through life thinking that what you had with that pencil dick was sex. It can be so good, Mindy. SO good."

Mindy is uncomfortable with this discussion. Though she and Gwen have shared girl talk over the years, Gwen always had a lot more to talk about, and Mindy is a little embarrassed by her lack of experience. "It was fine, Gwen. Both times." 

"Did you come? You never told me any details, besides little and hairless." 

"Um... maybe? I'm not sure."

Gwen sits up straight and stares at her friend. "Mindy, you would know. Haven't you ever..."

"Shhhh!" Mindy's face reflects her horror. "I think so... maybe. Gwen, stop!" 

Her friend has her face buried in her hands, shaking her head. She looks up and gives Mindy a sad smile. "You REALLY need to have good sex, Mindy. I don't care if you're by yourself, or with purple Carl here, or what, but if you've never had the big O... you owe it to yourself, girl."

"Okay, okay. But it's not that big a deal to me. I mean, I like the kissing part better." It wasn't like she'd kissed that many guys, but it was almost always pretty good, as opposed to the rather quick, rather unexciting other parts. She didn't have to get naked to kiss, either. 

"Kissing is great," Gwen leans back and sighs. "But Mindy, you don't even know what you're missing. I swear, when Carl and I get back from our honeymoon, I'm going to start fixing you up with some of his friends."

"I don't want some old man!" Mindy wails. "Dammit, what time is it?" 

Gwen checks her watch. "8:30. I guess we should get to eating this big cock. Oh, Mindy, that's another thing you need to learn..."

Mindy waves her off and starts cutting the cake, making sure to save a piece with extra frosting for herself. If she couldn't have orgasms, she could at least have sugar. After passing out the cake and sitting Gwen down to open her gifts, she looks nervously at her watch. 

Figures he would be late. She had already blown most of her budget on the decorations and cake when Maggie insisted they get a stripper, so she had to find the most affordable one possible. She knew ordering an "exotic dancer" from the decidedly non-exotic sounding "Staten Island Entertainment Group" was a huge risk. She had met this guy Stevie at the adult boutique when she was dildo-shopping, and wasn't that an experience she's not likely to recreate! He had assured her he'd send "his best" but that was just likely to mean the fat ex-mobster with the least stains on his undershirt. 

Still, it will be funny to watch Gwen get a lap dance from the reincarnation of Chris Farley, so he had better show up. 

She's just about to call that Stevie guy when there's a knock on the door. She's cleaning up cake plates, so she sends Maggie to let him in, and rushes to dump the trash so she can see Gwen's face when the chubby loser arrives. 

There's a huge commotion in the living room and she hears the cd mix she made especially for the occasion start to play. Mindy practically runs out of the kitchen and slams right into the back of the "entertainment," almost toppling them both. 

"Careful, sweetheart." 

Mindy blinks at the steadying hand on her forearm and the deep, thickly accented voice that's in her ear. She pulls back to look at the source, but she can't look for long, because he's got a performance to do, so she sits next to Gwen, who is blushing and glaring and giggling all at once. 

"Ladies..." All eyes are on the man in the center of the room, chairs and the sofa pushed aside to give him space. He's wearing a suit and tie, rimmed glasses, a fedora and one hell of a sexy grin. He drops his briefcase and grabs his tie. "By day, I may look like a mild mannered reporter..." He whips off his glasses and tosses the hat behind him. 

He's starting to roll his shoulders now, and there's a hoot of excitement. He grins wider now, sweeping his gaze across the room, stopping to lock eyes with Mindy for just the briefest moment before moving on. The gaggle of women, lubricated by alcohol, are getting more would up in anticipation. Even Gwen is getting into it, now that she sees the older women are clapping their hands with glee. 

The stripper has taken a wide legged stance and he's gyrating his hips in little circles. Mindy can't drag her eyes away. 

"But by night, I'm..." He grabs the placket of his dress shirt and theatrically tears it open, exposing a hard muscled chest under a very tight spandex tank emblazoned with a giant P. "PussyMan!"

The room erupts in cheers, but Mindy ponders the logic of that name. Whatever. He's hot, he's probably not too smart. 

As the background music plays, most appropriately "Push It," the man peels off his jacket and shirt. He's small, but nicely built, muscles taut and rippling but not overdone. He works out, but he's not a gym rat. Once those are off, Mindy can see a cape unfurl over his shoulders as he undoes his tie. 

"That's right, ladies. PussyMan. The Man of Steel. More powerful than a locomotive," he intones as he flexes his biceps. "But not faster than a speeding bullet, oh,no." He sweeps that grin across the room again. "What's that in your bed? It's not a bird... It's not a plane..." Grabbing the front of his slacks, he pulls them off in one tear-away movement. "It's PussyMan!"

It's so cheesy and so, so hot. 

He kicks off his shoes as he moves away from the heap of clothes towards the squealing women. Since the girls are poking Gwen, he glides over to her, getting approving nods. 

"Is this our little bride to be?" He hollers, placing his hands on the back of the couch on either side of her head, smirking as she blushes and leans back. "Congratulations, gorgeous." His voice is a deep drawl and he's undulating against her, pressing his face into his chest. He pulls back and yanks the tank top over his head, tossing it casually to the side, hitting Mindy in the face. Nice. 

Gwen is squirming and yelping as the dancer grabs her hands, pressing them to his lightly furred chest and then around to his ass, which is smooth and tight. He puts one hand on the back of her neck, forcing her head gently down to his spandex covered groin which he is thrusting languidly towards her. "Help, Mindy! I'm going to kill you!" She squeals, but she's grinning like an idiot, one hand still clinging to a butt cheek. The dancer flips his cape over both their heads and she screeches with glee. 

Mindy is slack jawed, still holding the discarded shirt, and he glances in her direction and winks. She freezes. Sure, a few years back they had fake IDs made and went off to Atlantic City and saw one of those Thunder Down Under type things, but it was nothing like this. There was no touching, and those guys were all waxed up and doll like up on stage.

This is completely different. This guy is no waxed doll. He's hairy and sweaty, like she predicted, but he's ridiculously sexy, in a way she never even realized a man could be. She's just gaping at him with a look of amazement, partly because he's packing a thongfull, partly because he's still wearing his socks. It's killing the vibe a little and no one else seems to care. 

But he notices her expression, and leans over to ask her what's wrong. His breath is hot and minty, and his voice, good lord, that voice. It's like sandpaper, scraping away at her. Mindy's mouth opens and closes like a fish before she points at his feet and shakes her head. 

He laughs, loud and hard, and flips himself around to wedge himself on the couch between her and Gwen, wrapping an arm around each. She can smell him now, clean soap and cheap cologne and something organic, warm and lush. Her arms are bare and his skin is hot and slick, burning where it touches, and it's igniting a flame deep in her belly. This is highly inappropriate. 

As soon as he's kicked off his socks, he's back up on his feet, making his way around the room, greeting each woman, grinning, letting them paw him. They've found dollar bills and are stuffing them into his g-string and smacking his butt and he's like a golden retriever puppy begging for attention. 

And Mindy is so, so wet. 

She doesn't even understand - this stranger, some island kid with rhythm and a big package that he's not at all shy about waving around, he shouldn't be making her feel like this. He's vulgar. Gross. He probably has herpes. 

And she still wants to fuck him. 

At least, she's pretty sure that's what she's feeling. It's not entirely foreign to her, but this level of just pure animal attraction definitely is, and she's disgusted by it. She watches as Gwen's sorority sisters, Grace and Michelle, hang off of him, one grinding on his hip, the other - she thinks it's Michelle, they'd hard to tell apart - is tucked under his upraised arm, nuzzling his armpit. 

A trickle of sweat makes its way down from his hairline to his cheek, and Mindy flushes, the need to lick the edge of his jaw making her break out in a sweat herself. 

As though he could read her mind, he looks up from heavy lids and meets her eyes. He resembles a jungle cat stalking his prey and she can feel her pulse throbbing at the apex of her thighs. There's a hand shaking her arm and she turns to see Gwen looking at her with concern. 

"Are you okay? You look... constipated or something."

Mindy shakes her head, nonplussed to learn her aroused face bears a striking resemblance to her have-to-poop face. "I'm fine. Are you okay with this? Do you want me to get rid of him?" 

"No!" Gwen shrieks. "He's amazing, where did you find him?" 

Mindy gazes back at the dancer as the blondes hang from him, trying to kiss him, but he avoids their lips and their kisses land on his cheek. "Staten."

One of the girls,the one not burrowing in his armpit, has her hand on the flat plane of his stomach and she tries to go lower to cop a feel. He laughingly slips out of her reach - he's letting these women have almost free reign to grope him, but he draws the line there. 

"Get him back over here!" Gwen moans, and Mindy steels herself and yells out over the noise. 

"Hey, PussyMan!" 

He turns and gives her a broad, toothy smile, his eyes crinkling up, and she feels her heart literally skip a beat. Fuck. What kind of a sorcerer is he? 

"The bride to be is feeling neglected!" Gwen pipes up on her own, to Mindy's relief. 

"Well, we can't have that!" He hustles over and pulls Gwen to standing, resting her hands on his hips while he gyrates, moving his body down and rolling it back up. Mindy realizes she's the only person still sitting and feels even more awkward when he notices too. He drops almost to his knees and grabs Mindy's hand, tugging her to her feet, wrapping one arm around Gwen's waist and the other around Mindy's hips. 

Gwen is laughing almost hysterically as he moves against her, kissing her on the cheek, and then he turns to Mindy and buries his face in her neck. 

She can feel his breath like fire against her skin, and then his lips are moving against the hollow of her throat and she thinks she's going to die. There's a bead of sweat on his temple and she's sliding her tongue against it before she can even think to stop herself, the salty taste stinging her tongue. He pulls slowly up to meet her eyes, smiling, still grinding on Gwen but he's looking at her like they're alone. Dead. She's dead and she must have been a very good girl because this has to be heaven. 

He looks at her lips and there's this insane moment where Mindy thinks maybe he's going to kiss her and then he's gone, making the rounds again, collecting more dollars and more kisses. Gwen grabs Mindy and hugs her tight, shrieking a thank you, and then the performance is over. He's grinning, running a hand through his wet hair, unbelievably sweaty and glistening, the lights reflecting off his skin as woman after woman comes up to tell him how great he was and can they get his card and does he want to go for a drink? 

He graciously says thank you and no thank you and starts to look a little nervous as he fishes the cash out of his thong and shoves the wad into a pocket of his briefcase. He wipes his hands on his thighs and his eyes dart around. 

"So, uh, hey, which one of you is Mindy?" 

She raises her hand meekly and he cracks a little half smile. 

"That's right, I have to pay you." She mutters. Gwen and her family are packing up the gifts as the other women find their purses and make their goodbyes. "Can you just hang on a minute?"

He shrugs, picking up the discarded pieces of his costume as Mindy handles the end of her hostessing duties. It's only as she ushers the last guest out that she realizes she's alone with him, and her stomach knots. 

He's sitting on a chair now, a glass of the heavily spiked punch in one hand as he gazes down at his toes. Her eyes drift there too for a second. His feet are a little scaly and rough looking and she moves her glance upwards, to his stunning, muscular legs, and then higher. She tries not to gawk at his crotch, but the way he's sitting, leaning back with his legs stretched out in front of him, it just calls attention to the area. That, and the neon pink thong. 

Mindy can't help but stare - she's only seen two penises in real life, and this one is bigger than either of them and it's not even hard. Douglas, or as Maggie called him, Dickless, was her first real exposure to an erection and he was more or less a thumb. She had given him a dry hand job in their senior year of high school and he never called her again. And then Kevin, sweet, shy Kevin, who she had dated for four months before she gave up her v-card to him. His dick looked like a naked mole rat and he lasted four seconds the first time they did it, at least, four seconds from when she could feel him. The second time wasn't much longer, and there was no third time, because Mindy never called him again. That's when she decided that meh, sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be, she had better things to do with her time. 

Maybe she judged too hastily. 

It probably isn't even four seconds that she looks at his bulge, but it feels like hours in her head, and she reluctantly drags her eyes up his awesome torso to his face, which is pretty good. Oh hell, who is she kidding? It's the face of a Greek god. To her horror, he's now looking at her, and his lips are twitching into a smile. Well, to be fair he's a very nearly naked, very sexy man who takes off his clothes for a living, why shouldn't she look? It's almost an insult if she doesn't. 

But she's still humiliated. She looks away and goes to the kitchen to find her purse, where she has the cash stashed, and he follows her. "Hey, can I grab something to eat?" 

Mindy nods, her face still burning, as he grabs a handful of the little sandwiches she made and shoves them into his mouth with aplomb. It's kind of remarkable - as soon as he was done, it's like he turned off the performance switch and turned into a completely normal guy, albeit a very underdressed, ridiculously hot one. She's digging through her purse trying to find the cash but she can't help sneaking peeks at him. God, he even eats sexy, how the hell does he manage that?

"Why don't you put your clothes back on?" She snaps in exasperation. He shrugs and grabs another sandwich and walks over to where his briefcase is laying on the floor. He squats and opens it and Mindy just stares at the rippling muscles in his back and his amazing meaty thighs. Why, why did she tell him to get dressed? 

She finds the cash and brings it to him as he's pulling on sweatpants. She hadn't noticed before, but his shoes are cheap knockoff Nikes and the briefcase looks decades old. It was probably his dad's, she thinks. He puts on a tight black t-shirt with the Columbia University logo on it and Mindy rolls her eyes.

"Nice shirt. Who do you know that goes there?" 

He gives her a funny look and shakes his head, taking the cash and putting it in the briefcase pocket with his tips. He doesn't even count it. Instead he wanders back over to the punch bowl and pours himself another glass, sipping it as he takes a slow walk around the room, over to her book case. 

Mindy watches him, a little confused. He's done, he's been paid, he ate dinner - why is he still here? Oh god, he's a serial killer. She's going to die at the hands of the hottest mass murderer ever and she's never had an orgasm. Maybe if she tells him that, he'll spare her life, or at least get her off before he kills her? 

"Hey, I never got your name." She squeaks, thinking she might be able to write it in blood before she expires. She is NOT writing PussyMan. 

"Uh, it's Danny. Daniel Castellano."

He's Italian. Oh God, Gwen's racist theories are true, Italians do have horse cocks, and she does need to get laid. 

Danny has a book in his hand and he looks up, dumbfounded. "Why do you have this?" He asks, holding up the Atlas of Human Sex Anatomy. Her mouth drops and she runs over to snatch it from him. 

"That's a medical textbook!" 

He grins broadly and turns to elude her grabby hands, flipping through the pages. "I'm well aware of that. Why do you have it?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm going to medical school in the fall. Columbia, in fact."  
She tried not to sound like the hugest snob in the world but she failed. 

Danny turns back with a smirk. "Really?"

"Why are you surprised? I'm Indian!"

He raises his eyebrows. "Settle down, it's just funny. I just graduated."

It's her turn to raise her eyebrows. "From Columbia?" 

"No, from Bryman College. ," he snarks. "Yes, Columbia." He jerks a thumb at his shirt. "I'm starting my residency next year at Saint Brendan's."

"Oh. Wow. Okay." This is more surprising than anything that's happened tonight. 

"What, you don't think an exotic dancer can have a brain, too? Sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart, I'm not just a big dumb piece of meat. I just wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth." He sets the book back on the shelf and suddenly she feels terribly guilty. 

"Hey, I didn't... I'm sorry. It's great that you're doing... this." She gestures vaguely in the direction of his groin and he laughs. She relaxes. 

Danny moves back over to the table and grabs a piece of the penis cake, looking slightly disturbed before shrugging and digging in. Mindy sits down too, still unsure as to why he hasn't left yet, but in no hurry for him to go. 

"So, Danny, why the hell do you use the name PussyMan? Why not something more appealing to women, like, I don't know, SuperDong?" 

He choked on his cake and grinned at her. "What, it's like, I'm getting so much pussy. I'm the pussy destroyer, the cops are gonna get called, I'm gonna tear it up..."

"No, eeew, no, and PussyMan, no, it just sounds wrong." She's laughing uncontrollably now, tears in her eyes, and he's giggling, all high pitched. "Like it's you, you are the pussy. I don't get it. Man of Steel, you should just go with that. You'd make so much more money!"

"Eh, it's kind of an inside joke. My friend Stevie started calling me that when I decided to be an OB/GYN, and it just carried over to this."

"No shit. I'm going to be one too!" 

"Wow." Danny looks down and back up at her. "That just makes you even hotter."

She's torn between the impulse to roll her eyes and the impulse to kiss him. The former wins, this time. "Okay, PussyMan. That line might work for the average bachelorette party, but..."

"It's not a line." His face is serious. "You're gorgeous. Smart women are sexy, what can I say. I didn't mean to offend you."

She's not the least bit offended. 

"Look, I'm sure you get lots of offers at these things, but that's not my deal." She's lying, because right now, it very much is her deal, but she's not about to admit it. 

"I do get lots of offers." He's gazing at her and it's making her very nervous, because damn, his eyelashes. "That doesn't mean I take them up on it. That's not my 'deal.'"

"Okay, then." She stands up because she needs him to leave or they're both going to be liars. 

"You don't believe me," he says in a dejected voice. She walks toward the door with a tight smile and he follows her, grabbing his things. "Fine, you don't have to, but seriously. You think I wanted any of those bimbos tonight?" 

"Hey, some of those bimbos are my friends." They're at the door, but neither makes a move to open it. 

"I got phone numbers. The lady in the polka dot blouse? She put a hundred dollar bill in my g-string and told me she'll pay my rent." He's grinning so wide now and Mindy isn't sure if he's bullshitting or if Nana really offered to make him a kept man. She's leaning towards it being the truth, because the woman had really looked worked up, and she saw her slip the big peach dong into her purse. 

"Good for you." 

"Yeah. Too bad I'm not interested, because I could use the rent money." Danny grins, leaning one hand on the door. 

Mindy can't stop looking at his lips. They're full and wide, and there's a tiny crumb of cake just at the corner. She fights the urge to wipe it off with her thumb, because if she does that, like in the movies, she's pretty sure he'll kiss her. And then all bets are off. 

"Shit! My glasses!" He darts past her, back into the living room. "I almost forgot I had them."

"They're real? You wear glasses too?" She's got her contacts in tonight but glasses are just easier, except she looks like such a nerd. He finds them on the coffee table. 

"Yeah, just for reading, but I still don't wanna lose 'em." He tucks them in the briefcase and approaches her. "If I'd left them here, you'd probably think I did it on purpose, just so I could come back..."

Mindy smiles and shrugs, and a piece of hair falls in her face. Before she can do it herself, Danny reaches up and tucks it behind her ear and grazes his fingers along her jawline. 

Fuck. 

He's going to be a doctor. He doesn't bang randos at every bachelorette party. He probably doesn't have herpes. And she needs to get laid, god damn it, and he's got just the horse cock to do it. 

"Lahiri," she says, wiping the crumb from his lip. He's already leaning in to kiss her and he stops, confused. 

"What?"

"Lahiri. Mindy Lahiri. I thought you should know my last name. It's classier that way."

Danny squints. "I don't know what we're talking about." 

Mindy rolls her eyes and grabs his hand, walking him backwards towards the bedroom. "Geez, Danny, pay attention. Or would you rather not know who it is you're fucking?" 

"Whoa, hey. Wow. I was just going to ask you to dinner sometime. But this works too..."

"You want to go get food?" She's game for late night eating. It's less likely to disappoint, anyway. But Danny just shakes his head and catches her as the backs of her legs hit the mattress. And then he's kissing her, and she forgets dinner, and her last name. 

"I meant it when I said you were gorgeous. You were the only woman I could see at the party." He's muffled as he speaks, his mouth pressed against her lips, his hands spanning her ass, as she pulls the T-shirt up and over his head. He's fumbling at her zipper and she finally turns around so he can reach it, which means he's able to lay a line of kisses down her spine as he tugs it down. The dress slips off Mindy's shoulders and pools at her hips, and she's nervous as hell. 

She starts to turn back around and he holds her in place, kissing the back of her neck and gliding his hands up to her bare breasts. She gasps as she feels him press against her ass and dear God, she isn't sure she's up to it. She should have practiced with purple Carl. 

"You're so fucking gorgeous." He's muttering. "I've never done this." When she freezes, he chuckles against her shoulder blade. "I mean, with a... Oh god, I can't call you a customer,that sounds terrible." 

This makes her laugh and she's a little less nervous now. He spins her back around and kisses her hard, his tongue dancing patterns across hers, and he sucks her upper lip into his mouth. Mindy is certain she's never made noises like this before, not even for a really good bearclaw. 

"I mean, I've never slept with anyone from a party. I have boundaries. Usually." He's pushing her dress the rest of the way off and oh god, she's sopping. 

"It's okay, I've almost never slept with anyone ever." 

Danny stops and pulls back to look at her. "What?" He says, drawing the word out. 

"I'm not very... well traveled." She tires to smile but she's lost all her confidence, and it was mostly false to begin with. "Like, I've gone down the street. But it was a short street. And a very quick trip."

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her against him, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks against her hair. "We really can go to dinner."

Mindy melts against him, inhaling his scent, which is a little sharper than before he really worked up a sweat, but still oh, so delicious. She answers him with a tug on his drawstring. 

"Okay, because this is a long road, and it's going to take some time." He kisses her again and pulls her down on the bed with him. As his mouth travels south, taking a nipple in his lips, she closes her eyes and moans. He tugs gently on the other breast and she arches into him. 

As his tongue laps at the tightened peaks, she travels her hands over the planes of his back, feeling the muscles move beneath her fingertips. He's kissing lower now and she realizes his destination and panics a little. Sure, it's summer, but it's been a few weeks since she's done any landscaping and she doesn't want her first time for that to be awkward. She tugs his head back up and kisses him, sliding her hand down the front of his sweats and against the spandex pouch that's keeping him constrained. 

"Take this off, PussyMan." 

"Stop, don't call me that when we're... call me Danny." He obliges her request, standing up at the bedside and divesting himself of the garments. 

She's fucking terrified. Somehow even the term horse cock seems modest. Of course, she's only had mouse cock to compare it too, but it doesn't seem physically possible. 

"Danny, you're too big." 

He smiles really wide at that. Mindy draws her legs up and blinks at him. As enormous as it seems, and maybe it's just the angle that's making it look so daunting, she can't quell this heat that's burning inside her. So she pulls her panties off and takes a deep breath. 

Danny leans back down and kisses her, really tenderly, and runs his big hands down her body like he's reading Braille. When he reaches her hips, Mindy's legs just seem to fall open, and he slips one hand between her thighs, just barely ghosting over her flesh. He's stroking her in a way she hasn't even felt comfortable touching herself, and his fingers, so long and nimble, trace patterns across her skin until they land on the stiffened nub of her clit. 

He's rounding it with his thumb and she's panting into his mouth and what is this, she thinks, as his fingers dip inside her. Her hips are moving on their own volition and she's grinding against the palm of his hand, and fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuuuuck, she doesn't even realize she's groaning that word over and over until everything just flashes into a bright heat between her thighs that spreads through her like a wildfire and she's shuddering around his hand while he slowly stops his movements and brings her back down. 

Mindy opens her eyes and he's above her, his smile brilliant. So that's what all the fuss was about? Right. Totally valid. She realizes she's going to have to tell Gwen this right away. Well, not right away, but soon. 

Danny murmurs something into her ear but the blood is rushing so loudly she can't make it out. He repeats it, and it clicks. Condom. Does she have one? Oh God, yes, she bought a dozen when she decided to finally sleep with Kevin. She rolls over and fumbles at the nightstand. "I think I have one in here... An extra from the party, you know... I don't really know where..." 

He grunts and she quits the charade and pulls one out, thrusting the foil packet towards him. He looks at it and nods, tearing it open and rolling it on. She just stares, but her eyes feel a little crossed after all that. He looks back up at her. "Are we good?" She just nods and inhales deeply. 

Danny slots himself between her very open thighs, god, she didn't even close them, she's a harlot. He's kissing her and rubbing the length of himself against her, just slowly moving along her folds. Mindy wants to touch him. She reaches down and wraps her fingers around him, marveling at the warmth and softness over rock solid hardness. He stops kissing her and just breathes against her throat heavily before moving his mouth lower, trailing hot kisses and darts of his tongue and nips of his teeth and it's like nothing else and everything. 

She lets him go and feels him pressing against her and Jesus, Mary and Joseph, maybe Kevin didn't really devirginize her because it sure didn't feel like this. He adjusts her hips just a bit and then pushes slowly into her. Mindy gasps, because as wet as she is, she's still pretty tight, but he's so slow and so careful that it's just a little discomfort at first. And then, as he moves, rocking into her with a little more pressure, she lifts her hips up to meet him and then it's comfortable, and then it's more than comfortable. It's good. 

He's grunting now, and sweating, kissing her mouth and neck and throat, and his hand snakes between them and strokes her, and she can't believe that she's feeling that buildup again. Danny really is PussyMan, and SuperDong, and the Man of Steel. He's her fucking superhero. But she doesn't call him those names, she just says his name over and over as he moves inside her. 

He hikes one of her knees up so he can get a deeper angle and that pushes her over the edge again. This time it doesn't last quite as long but it's so much stronger that her body stiffens and then breaks into a quick wave, clenching around him, and he pumps hard into her as he comes. He makes a few more thrusts and then slips out of her. 

Mindy doesn't know the etiquette for condom disposal, so when he slides it off, she eyeballs the distance to her bedside trashcan and decides it's probably close enough. Danny gets up and takes it into the bathroom, though. 

Okay, she thinks. She just hooked up with the stripper. That's not a terribly embarrassing scenario, right? She did know his name first. He returns and she sighs, thinking the bed will be awfully empty once he's gone. 

He lies back down beside her and kisses her, stroking her hair. "That was nice," he murmurs. 

Once again, she can't figure out why he isn't leaving. It's beginning to be a thing. 

"It was really nice. I mean, it was nice twice." 

Danny grins. "Lucky girl."

"Yeah, I mean that's two more times than I ever have, so, wow."

"Seriously?" He sits up on an elbow and looks at her. "You've never, even by yourself?"

Mindy shrugs. "Not like that. I mean, I thought I did once, but... I guess not?"

He looks way too pleased with himself. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he tugs her closer. Who knew the stripper was a cuddler?

"Well, I'm pretty glad I got to help you with that."

"So am I, actually," she giggles. She has her face pressed against his chest, the coarse little hairs tickling her cheek, and she turns her head to burrow further. She gets why that blonde girl was all up in these lush pits - it's sexy and warm and so damn manly. His hand is rubbing little circles on her back and she feels content, which seems like a weird feeling for a random hookup. 

"You wanna maybe change that dinner date to breakfast?" He asks her, sounding almost a little shy. Mindy pulls her face from where she was nesting and looks at him. 

"Yeah. We can always get dinner later."

Danny nods and kisses her again. "Late breakfast..." He murmurs, and she feels something stirring against her thigh. "Hey, you think you maybe can find another one?"

With a laugh, Mindy rolls over to the nightstand and pulls out the strip of condoms. "Maybe... I just didn't want you to think I was easy."

"I don't think you're easy, but I do think you're vastly overestimating me." Danny takes the strip and tears off one, handing the rest back. 

"It's aspirational," she sighs, rubbing her foot against his calf with a grin.

"Well, Mindy Lahiri, you keep reaching for the stars." He kisses her again and proceeds to make her see those stars one more time. And once more in the morning before breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not plan to add on to this story, but a few of you asked, and a little bird put it in my ear to tell it from Danny's POV. I love the character and what's in his head, and it's a rare chance to to imagine a different side of him. That said, I don't foresee I will add any more chapters to this. I have a couple works in progress that need attention, and I will admit this was also a way to avoid writing tough stuff, but I do love pre-show fiction and hope others might take up the torch and explore that. There's one in process right now that's splendid and I'd love to read more from others as well!

Well, now he's gone and done it. Daniel Castellano has broken the one rule he set for himself - well, besides don't let them touch his junk, which was also broken tonight, and who knew a girl named Grace could be so ungraceful? He had to admit it was kind of funny when she fell down and tried to get back up using his crotch as a handhold. Almost as funny as the other one grabbing his chest and proclaiming she normally hated body hair, but she sure loved his. All the other guys waxed, but Danny found it wasn't necessary. Ladies loved him au natural. 

No, it's the big rule he shattered, the serious one, the one thing he swore to himself would never happen when he reluctantly started this gig a few years back to pay college tuition. Yeah, he managed to get through school on scholarships and grants, and he had some serious student loans, but that wasn't why he decided to take the skills learned in years of dance training and put them to a more venal use. 

The rule: no random hookups at work. 

It was usually pretty easy to avoid temptation. He put on his performer persona and when he did that, he could tease and play with these women, giving them the attention they wanted and in turn, getting the one thing he wanted from them - their money. He was playing a role, and that role ended when the music was turned off. 

Sure, there were hot chicks, but somehow the skinny kid from the bad part of Staten grew into his looks and could pull girls wherever he went. And he wasn't opposed to hookups, necessarily, since he really didn't have time for a long term relationship and he still had needs. He just didn't want to deal with women who expected his persona to carry into the bedroom. It was hard enough keeping it going for twenty minutes. 

This was different, and he couldn't figure out why. 

Mindy Lahiri. She certainly isn't the hottest chick he's ever banged, though right now, he can't remember anyone more captivating. It's a mystery, though. She's sitting wrapped up in the sheet, eating those jelly candies that have the sour powder and talking about female sexual responses as though it was normal pillow talk. He doesn't know why, but he still wants to hit it.

"So that's why it fit, Danny. You aroused me and it expanded. I mean, I read about it, but I never tested it out until now." Mindy gives him the goofiest grin, and there's a few of those powder grains on her lips and he leans in to kiss them off. She squeaks and he sits back, enchanted. 

She's so fucking sexy and she doesn't even know it. She caught his attention the minute he saw her, and it wasn't because she was the only splash of color in a sea of WASPs. No, it was something indescribable and it was almost embarrassing because even with all the groping and kissing, he didn't normally get excited while performing. Maybe a half chub at best, which didn't harm his tips any, but for a moment when he was dancing for the bride he had leaned over and kissed Mindy's neck and it got him going. Big time. She smelled delicious, something fruity and spicy, and then she had licked his forehead and he was really in trouble. He had to start reciting batting averages in his head to keep things from becoming really awkward. 

Mindy is still talking, and he hasn't paid a bit of attention it her, but now she's going on about refractory periods and he wishes he wasn't quite so familiar with the concept because he'd love to go for a third round tonight. But he's almost thirty now and that's truly ambitious. She's saying something about blood flow and he realizes he has a way to quell this chatty streak of hers that doesn't involve his blood flowing where he needs it, but hey, it might solve that problem too. 

So with a grunt he grasps her around the waist and pulls the sheet off her lovely little tits. 

"Danny!" She makes a half hearted grab for the sheet, but she's too slow, and he starts kissing her chest, wanting to taste every inch of her. He laves his tongue along the crease beneath her breasts and then up over the silky soft skin on the sides, looking up at her as he does it and she's smiling in shock, her eyes sparkling. 

He's kissing and licking everywhere but her nipples and they are so tempting, hard brown pebbled peaks just begging for his touch. He reaches a hand up to twist one gently in his fingers and she gasps and giggles. Danny swings his body up over her and takes her other breast into his mouth, lapping at her tit and then sucking hard, so she writhes under him and says his name again, slowly, her voice much lower now. 

He lets go and starts to travel lower, licking at her belly button and moving slowly down till he reaches the crease where her leg meets her tummy and she grabs his hair. He thinks she's just really into it when she pulls, but she's squeezing her thighs together and hisses at him to stop. 

"What? Why? I want to do this for you."

Her brows are knit and she shakes her head. "No, I... Danny, it's... untidy down there. The garden is a little, um, overgrown."

He can't believe she's really worried about this. "Seriously, Min?" 

She makes a face that looks vaguely constipated. "Yeah, it's not..."

"You're going to be a doctor, you need to stop using these analogies. You can't talk to patients about their bushes and trees and what not." Danny grins devilishly. "And to hell with gardening. I like it lush." He plants a kiss on the fine growth of hairs at her bikini line and runs his tongue from one hipbone to the other. Her legs just sort of open on their own. 

"Don't judge!" Mindy calls out nervously, throwing one arm over her face. 

He's not judging at all. Pushing one of her knees up for easier access, he slides his mouth along her inner thighs, sucking lightly on the warm skin. Her hips are bucking a little now and he can smell how eager she is despite her earlier hesitation. 

"You know, nobody's ever..." She can't continue her sentence because he's covering her with his wide mouth, his breath hot on her sensitive skin, and he darts his tongue out just to taste her, a deep stroke into her, just one. He resumes teasing her, kissing all around her folds, sucking them up in his lips, and as much as he enjoyed listening to her rattle off medical terminology, the sounds she's making now are much better. 

"Jesus... what are you... oh God..."

Yeah, he was good with his mouth. 

Danny Castellano, good little Catholic boy, always made the girls find religion. 

He licks up into her, soaking his tongue in her wetness and thoroughly enjoying himself, refractory period be damned. He was hard as a rock again. There was nothing in the world he liked better than this, even if he had to double his number of Hail Marys and Our Fathers. 

She's still covering her eyes, even as her hips rock frustratedly against his mouth, and he wants to watch her come. He reaches up and pulls her arm away. "Mindy. Look at me."

Her mouth is slack and she's panting and he twines his fingers in hers as he uses his other hand against the flat of her belly. His tongue finally dances up to brush her clit and she sucks in her breath. He's got her so worked up that she barely needs any contact, so when he licks hard and sucks, she can't even try to hold back. She holds eye contact as long as she can, but it's too much, and she arches up from the mattress as her body vibrates and shudders. He keeps his mouth on her until she's relaxed back onto the bed and then he crawls back up and kisses her so she can taste how delicious she is. 

"Damn. I can't even... Damn."

He's amused by her inability to talk, and by her huge, flushed grin. It's kind of a revelation to Danny that he's actually enjoying her happiness more than his own. Not that he's not ready for another round, but he doesn't think she is, and he wouldn't want his annoying erection to get in the way of her bliss. So he just lays there and grins at her while she composes herself. 

"You okay?" He asks when she's still not talking after a few minutes. 

Mindy just grins at him. She's like a lazy cat soaking up the sun, her movements languid, and she strokes his face. He leans into it. Fuck. This is crazy. He wants to make her pancakes and feed them to her, naked, in these sheets that are going to need to be changed. 

He can't be in love with her already, can he? It's just really good sex. But he's had really good sex, a lot, and he's never felt like this. Fuck. 

"I'm good," she murmurs. "You, you're... wow. I take it back, what I said before, about your superhero name. It fits. You definitely earned it."

He laughs and even blushes a little, which makes no sense because they've been fucking for hours and why would that embarrass him? It just does. 

"I like making you happy."

She rolls her eyes and giggles. "Yeah, it's your job, buddy, making ladies happy."

Danny takes her hand and squeezes it, his face serious. "Yeah, that's my job. I like making _you_ happy." Her face softens. 

"You keep this up, you're gonna break my heart, Daniel Castellano."

He's never meant anything more than he does his next words. "I'm going to try very hard to not let that happen."

They just look at each other for a moment, and it's very heavy, neither of them quite sure just what the hell they've gotten themselves into. 

"This is all Gwen's fault." Mindy blurts out. Danny looks at her quizzically. "The bride to be. She was harassing me about needing to get laid."

Oh. 

Well, that answers his question about how this all happened. 

Danny can't say he's surprised, really, because as he told her, he'd been propositioned many times. He just somehow got it into his head that this was different. He's an idiot. Of course, she's just a horny, inexperienced young girl and he was... available. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

So much for the pancakes. He just wants to leave now. 

He rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling. Fuck, he got paid. He's kind of a hooker now. 

"Glad I could be of service," he says, and he didn't mean to sound so cold, but it is what it is. 

Mindy grabs his arm and shakes it. "Oh God, I didn't mean it to sound like that. Danny."

He doesn't look at her, because he thinks maybe his eyes might be red and fuck that noise. You don't grow up fatherless in the shitty part of town raising your gay little brother and getting pounded for being a dancer without learning how to be hard. He got his wick dipped, why the fuck should he be sad about that? 

"Danny! That's not... oh God, Danny, that's not why I did it." Mindy climbs on top of him, pulling his face to look at her. Shit. She's adorable, all naked and panicky, and as mad and hurt as he is, his dick's betraying him. Man of Steel. 

"Why did you do it, then?" Dammit, he sounds like a petulant child. How the hell did she do this to him, turn him weak in a matter of hours?

"I like you." She smiles shyly. "I like you, and I know it's stupid, because... it just is. But I felt like we had a connection. And not just this one," she gestures to their bodies, and takes his hand and presses it to her chest. "Don't judge." 

Danny smiles. He's always had a little trouble with his temper. He shakes his head and pulls her down to kiss him. Mindy flattens against him, and he grabs her hips and slides his hands over the curves of her ass, her luscious ass. She moves back and bumps into his cock and yelps in surprise. "Hey, he's back!" 

"He can't stay away from you." 

"Hmmm..." She sits up a little and her eyes twinkle. "Gwen told me I needed to do something else, too..." 

He's a little hesitant to find out what, but that goes away when Mindy starts snaking her body down his and takes him in her hand. His erection is a little lazy, what with the encore performances, but when her head dips down and her tongue darts out along the slit, he feels it start to rage again. 

"You've never done this either?" He can't understand how someone with such natural, easy sensuality hasn't been taking advantage of it. 

Mindy shakes her head. "Tell me what to do." 

Oh God, that's even hotter. "Uh, just, uh, no teeth." She licks her lips and wraps them around the head of his cock, keeping her eyes fixed on him. Her tongue strokes the underside and then she releases him and licks a stripe down the shaft. 

"Yeah, okay, that's good." Frankly, just looking at her as she sucks him off would normally do it in no time, but she's going to have to work a little harder now. 

"You're salty," Mindy tells him, not a complaint, just commentary. "And your skin is so soft." She's kind of treating him like a research project, stroking his balls and cupping them, running her fingers along the veins on his dick, the ridges on the glans. Now she's pumping him gently and licking the head, delicately, like a Popsicle, and it's nice, but what he really wants is to bury his cock in her mouth and come down her throat. He grunts in frustration, not on purpose. 

Mindy nods and takes him in deeper, slicking his shaft with saliva and adding her hand because he's way too big for just her mouth. She's moving a little rougher, gripping him harder, the way he does it when he's alone, and yes, that's perfect, just like that, with her tongue and the suction. 

Shit. 

He has to warn her. 

"Min..." He winds his fingers into her hair and she looks up at him, her mouth full of his cock and her eyes sweet, and he's about to lose it. "I'm gonna come."

She nods imperceptibly and sucks harder, gazing into his eyes, blinking with a little flinch as he releases himself into her, but her hand keeps going and she swallows him and fuck, he thinks he really does love her. 

He's limp when she lets him go and crawls back up to lay next to him. 

"Was it, um, good?" 

"Yeah. You really never?"

Mindy smiles with pride. "Nope, just with my hand. But I've seen porn..."

"You're just naturally talented." 

"I have excellent hand-eye coordination. Or hand-mouth... I eat a lot." She's giggling and stroking his chest hairs. "Speaking of..." Mindy reaches over him for the pack of candy and pops one into her mouth, offering him one too. He takes it just because she asked him to. He might do anything she asked him to, and that's really, really dangerous. 

"I'm going to go get some water and go to the bathroom. Do you need anything?" 

You. I need you in my life, and I didn't even know it, he thinks. But he doesn't say it. He's probably already freaked her out with his weirdness, though she's not acting like it at all. She's acting like this is a perfectly normal way for a relationship to play out - meet, have sex and fall in love, all on the same night. 

Well, Danny's never done anything the normal way before anyway. Why start now?

He watches her leave, her heart shaped ass swaying as she pads out of the bedroom, and he takes pride in the fact that's she's walking a little funny. That ass. Maybe tomorrow, after breakfast refuels them both and his balls don't ache, he can bend her over that couch and slap that ass while he plows her sweet pussy... God, he's a pig. 

Maybe she'll marry him. 

Fuck, he's got to stop thinking like that. He doesn't know her, hasn't met her family, doesn't even know if she has one. Does she want kids, a dog, a picket fence, or is she going to be a single minded career woman? Does she like Springsteen or that shitty hop pop stuff? Does she want to curl up on the couch and watch documentaries with him - Ken Burns has a new one on jazz he can't wait to see - or does she watch those awful fake reality shows?

Danny realizes that he doesn't care. He wants to take her to meet his Ma, show her what an amazing woman she is, raising two boys with a deadbeat dad who bailed on them; to meet his little brother, who he guesses gets the credit for all this, because if the little bastard had done better in school he wouldn't have to be dancing to pay for his college. He'll thank him later. 

He really wants to make her pancakes. 

Mindy comes back in and hands him a glass of water, a sleepy smile on her face. She lays down and he curls around her, burying his face in her hair. His little spoon. He can't wait for morning.


End file.
